A Social Media Addict in Recovery

This last weekend we drove 12 hours to Colorado for my hubsand grandmother’s birthday celebration. It was so good to see old friends and family we hadn’t seen in a couple years. The majority of his family was there so it may the trip well worth it. Alamosa is a small town and the towns surrounding it are even smaller. This meant that we had no cell phone service the whole time we were there. I was only able to check my phone when we has wifi. I only had wifi in the hotel. So I got to check my phone twice the whole trip. We drove 24 hours total with a toddler and a baby and no phones or videos. We had a good time. There were times if we hadn’t stopped and gotten out of the car we would have screamed and pulled our hair out. But we made it. I kept thinking the whole time how I didn’t miss my phone, I was simply enjoying the trip. I hardly took pictures with my phone. When I wanted to take a picture of someone or something I simply took out our camera. I also finally admitted to myself that I am addicted to social media and my phone. I have known this for a long time and yet I have been in denial. Here is how my day goes when I have a free second or minute for myself I browse through pictures of friends, friends of friends and even people who I have never ever met. I sit down to breastfeed just so I can have an excuse to escape the piles of laundry and dishes that wait for me and to check my phone.  During lunch since my kids are entertained I am leaving comments all over Facebook.  In the afternoons when I could be playing with my kids (instead of watching my kids play and occasionally jumping in) I am checking my phone. I forget my wallet at home several times a week but can’t leave the house without my phone. Rarely do I check my phone in the car but this time I did missed the green arrow 3 times because I was checking Instagram. Gosh I can’t even use the bathroom without my phone. At night when I have time “for myself” and everyone has gone to bed I stalk a lot of people. I will just look through hours of pictures of women braiding their hair, wearing freakishly expensive clothes, living in ridiculously clean houses with children who nap for hours everyday. At other times I will look through hours of women exercising and or inspirational before and after pictures. I always feel so pumped after that and think, “I can do it. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will exercise and eat just right so I can look like that.” Before I know it, its midnight. I have wasted so much time and am utterly exhausted. I will drift off to sleep only to get woken up an hour later by little Nina who is starving to death. In the morning I have no energy to cook a healthy breakfast and so I eat cereal and feel depressed because my gosh I have no willpower to lose the “baby weight”. Reality is that if I spent as much time on my personal development as I do on social media I would be much better off. While reading a talk from Tad R. Callister I came across a very profound quote: do our children receive our best spiritual, intellectual, and creative efforts, or do they receive our leftover time and talents, after we have given our all to our Church calling or professional pursuits? In the life to come...I do know that the titles of husband and wife, father and mother, will continue and be revered, worlds without end. That is one reason it is so important to honor our responsibilities as parents here on earth so we can prepare for those even greater, but similar, responsibilities in the life to come.” Have I been giving my children my full attention. Nope.  I am not by any means saying I will no longer be participating in social media or that cellphones are the devil. But I am saying that I have seen how quickly I was just going through the motions instead of being 100% present in my life because of a tiny computer and lack of will power. We haven’t started homeschooling yet, but truth be told if I don’t make some changes I am setting myself up for failure. Me being able to put my phone away during parts of the day and be proactive in my role as a mom and educator will do wonders for me in the long run. Since we got back I have been working on leaving my phone plugged in or just doing an activity with my girls where I purposely don’t pull my phone out. The change is huge! I am slow to anger and am more in tune with what my children need and when they need it. I want to be here. Being in tune with what my body needs means I have been taking afternoon naps with my kids instead of double tapping on my phone every 3 seconds. I am falling in love with my life all over again instead of just comparing it to other peoples. You can’t just get rid of a habit you have to replace it. So I am replacing my late night social media binges with reading. I will be sharing my reading lists of homeschool related books in an upcoming post. I am also working on a fun reading list so if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them! :) Here's a little video from our trip!





Comments

Popular Posts